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Grief Work: Stones for Healing

Updated: Nov 15




If you like to work with stones, feel drawn to them, or want to try a new tactile approach to healing, there are many stones that may help you in your process of grief and bereavement. Here I will outline some for you and the best ways to use them. Please remember that grief is a natural process in life and everyone experiences grief at one time or another in their life. It is important to allow yourself this time to grieve. This advice is only meant to help aid you in your grief process and give you something tangible to do. Rituals are so important to healing.


If you like, you can also purchase a Grief Stone Bundle & Satchel from my store.


How to work with stones:

  • Hold or wear a crystal while meditating: Some people chant on stone malas or wear them as a necklace and some people hold them while they meditate. You may even like to just keep one in your lap while sitting silently.

  • Keep a crystal on you: Some people like to keep one in their pocket, or you can hold one over your heart during painful times.

  • Add a crystal to your altar: Whatever your spiritual practice altar looks like, stones make a great addition and helps set an intention.

  • Use a crystal in your self-care routine: You could buy a rose quartz face roller, or even simply place stones in the bath with you.


The following is a list of 6 stones I like to use in grief work:


  1. Amethyst (pictured):

I start this list off with Amethyst because it is the stone that I have worked with the most, it is also my birthstone so I have spent many years with it. When I was 8 years old, my parents gave me my first Amethyst. Amethyst is a universal healing gemstone, and some call it a natural tranquilizer. When one is grieving our emotions can seem all over the place. In fact, INELDA founder Henry Fersko-Weiss has referred to grief as "feeling like being on a roller coaster at night" not knowing what emotion or turn is going to come up next. Amethyst is known for its grounding capabilities, especially with nervousness, anxiety, depression, and stress. Amethyst is also known as a powerful protector stone, not just from outward interference, but internal protection from negative self-talk and harm. When one is grieving their mind may feel, for lack of a better word, "crazy", but all the emotions you are feeling are very normal and valid, working with Amethyst may help aid in that acceptance of the process. Amethyst associations: Chakra- Crown, Zodiac- Aquarius and Pisces, Planet- Jupiter, Element- Air, Vibration- 3.


2. Pink Quartz:


Most people associate Rose Quartz with love, but it's important to remember that love is very important in your grief. The love of the one who has passed, the loneliness you may be feeling, or you may be possibly isolating yourself from your other loved ones. If amethyst is the universal healing gemstone, then pink quartz is the universal love gemstone. It also represents compassion which is helpful during grief. Please be compassionate to yourself during these trying times. Many people feel they have to "move on" or "work through" their grief. Let the loving nature of Rose Quartz help you be compassionate towards yourself during this time. Rose Quartz associations: Chakra- Heart Chakra, Zodiac- Taurus and Libra, Planet-Venus, Elements- Earth and Water, Vibration-7.


3. Moonstone:


During times of grief, one could dissociate from the outside world, family, and friends. Moonstone can help you center your mind and dissipate the feelings of numbness that often come from grief and loss. Moonstone is known a lot for its healing properties in "new beginnings" which is exactly what this is, for every end is just a new beginning. Moonstone is a stone of inner growth and strength. It soothes emotional instability and stress and helps stabilize emotions, providing an overall calmness within. Moonstone associations: Chakra- Sacral and Third Eye, Zodiac-Cancer, Planet- Moon, Element- Air, Vibration- 4


4. Chrysocolla:


Chrysocolla is a copper stone, known for its calming effects. Its deep oceanic look has an overall sereneness to it and helps aid in deep relaxation. Chrysocolla is a stone that helps stimulate balance and wholeness through the release of our bottled-up emotions. Chrysocolla enables one to think with clarity and is known for relieving emotional pain. Its positive energy is important for self-expression and encourages acceptance of situations. Chrysocolla associations: Chakra- Throat and Heart, Zodiac- Gemini and Virgo, Planet- Mercury, Element- Water, Vibration- 5.



5: Jet Stone:

Ah, the Jet Stone, a very unique stone. Jet is formed from the fossilized wood of trees—after millions of years of pressure, the wood becomes a hard, black stone. A true physical and tangible example of the metamorphosis of life and what one can become once what they think their life is ended. Jet gives us a connection to the wider world when we feel lonely. Jet will help you adapt to change by seeing that loss is all part of a natural, inevitable cycle. The Victorians were particularly fond of Jet and used it in their mourning jewelry, So it has historic evidence with the grieving process. Jet Stone associations, Chakra- Root, Zodiac- Capricorn, Planet- , Element- Earth,Saturn Vibration- 8


6: Sunstone:

I like to put both Moonstone and Sunstone together for grief, to me, it helps encompass the wholeness of life; the beginning and end, the night and day. Sunstone is a high-vibration crystal and is associated with the energy of the Sun, and it promotes positive thinking and self-confidence, and warmth, which can be hard to come by while grieving. This stone is used a lot with people who suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). To me, this is a stone of acceptance, finding meaning with your loss, and a birth to a new way of living. Surrendering to the process which is grief.


How to Clean and Cleanse Your Stones:

There are many ways to cleanse a crystal, here are some recommendations:

  • Cleansing in the moonlight: Preferably on a full moon night when the moon is the brightest, but stones may be cleansed any night the moon is visible. Best to place your stones out before nightfall and brought in before 11 am the next day. This will allow your stone to bathe in the light of both the moon and sun.

  • Cleansing in salt: Himalayan pink salt is best, but it can scratch softer stones so please be careful. Lay or bury the crystals in the salt and leave for 24 hours or as long as you feel is needed.

  • Cleansing smoke: Sage or Palo Santo wood can be used. Place the Sage or Palo Santo in your non-dominant hand and with your dominant hand "wash” the stone in the smoke, best to allow the smoke to envelop the stone for 30 seconds.

Cleansing with visualization: Sounds simple and it is, as, with any spiritual practice, you can do a lot with deep heartfelt intention. If you do not have access to the above-mentioned materials, you can simply hold the stone and visualize any of the cleanses you like. You can picture yourself putting them out on a full moon night, placing them in pink salt, or letting the purificatory smoke wash over them. The contents are for informational purposes only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or a loved one is having a hard time with grief and loss, please seek out help from a trained medical professional. The information provided on this website or links to others is to be used for educational purposes only. It should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment. Our information should be used in conjunction with professional care.

#grief #griefetiquette #deathdoula #griefwork #workingwithyourgrief


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